Things I believe #2
I believe that "Don't judge me," in addition to becoming the refuge of scoundrels in the
public arena has morphed, over the last
decade or so, into one of the current en vogue copouts for sketchy personal
behavior at all levels.
We see
the seemingly out of control mother screaming at her child in public, for who
knows what reason and of course we judge that action. We're
human and we have, to varying
degrees, certain thresholds of what we consider as acceptable behavior. In the same sense, we have enacted laws to
enforce what we consider to be acceptable human activity. Society judges murder
and theft as wrong. It is natural and to be expected. Like it or not, any
thought process which critically
analyzes actions of another and decides internally if one finds said activity
acceptable or not is judging.
Should one
state their opinion of an activity which they find outside the bounds of proper
social action, there are those ready, nay eager, to label it as judgmental.
Well, of course it is, just as the
person rendering said statement is, in their turn, being judgmental.
Recently I
garnered a lot of approval, but a small amount of flak for being critical
("judgmental") of the announced selection of
Callista Gingrich as US ambassador to the Vatican. In doing so I
reflected upon what is simply in the public record. Had I been similarly
critical of Hillary Clinton, for whom I
also have relatively little regard, there would have been no such charges, but
in the current environment, it seems that the more outré and bizarre
the current administration's actions and appointments become,
the harsher is the backlash when such bad behavior is pointed out.
In the case of
Gingrich, we have a serial womanizer who during the same period made Bill
Clinton look like a monk (ok, ok, maybe not a monk, but less venal than
Gingrich). Gingrich has openly acknowledged cheating on his second wife while
leading the impeachment proceedings against President Clinton for allegations
of perjury involving the Paula Jones sexual harassment civil case and the
president's affair with Monica Lewinsky.
His
extramarital track record is such that speaking of an affair that he carried on with a volunteer
during his first campaign in 1974, one of his aides said, “We’d have won in
1974 if we could have kept him out of the office, screwing her on the desk.”
Also tucked
into the mix was the episode where he went to the hospital where his wife was
recovering from surgery and tried to get her to sign papers related to their
divorce while she was still coming out of anesthesia
That hasn’t
stopped him from claiming positions of moral loftiness, decrying the impending
downfall of our society, and penning books arguing, “There is no attack on
American culture more deadly and more historically dishonest than the secular
effort to drive God out of America’s public life.” His second ex- wife, (the
one he was cheating with before he divorced the first one) in a 2010 interview,
however, flatly stated, “He believes that what he says in public and how he
lives don’t have to be connected. … If you believe that, then yeah, you can run
for president.”
Newt Gingrich's
affair with his future (still married to the second one!) third wife and seven year's extramarital squeeze, Callista
Bisek, at the time an aide in the office of Wisconsin Rep. Steve Gunderson, was
in full bloom on the eve of the Republican Revolution that propelled Gingrich
to become House Speaker, in 1994. "It was
common knowledge on the Hill," according to a former colleague of
Callista's in Gunderson's office. Certainly in Republican circles it was widely
known ." The former colleague's
comments shed new light on the out-in-the-open nature of the Gingrich affair —
years before Gingrich would petition his second wife for an "open
marriage" in 1999.
Callista, whom
the former colleague remembers and describes as a "small-town girl from
Wisconsin" openly discussed her
relationship with Gingrich at the office. "She was not veiled about
it," he says. Callista would say things like, "Obviously you're aware
of the relationship I have", (referring to Gingrich" the ex-staffer
recalls.
So, here are a
couple of questions for all you
"don't judge me" types, who often actually use the phrase to mean, "Don't
criticize Republicans, but we hated Obama":
Are you being non-judgmental when you
discriminate against an individual because of their sexuality? Are my gay
friends who have been faithful to one another for 30 several years in the face
of innumerable societal pressures,
children of a lesser God?
Were you being
non-judgmental when you decided that the previous POTUS was bad and this one
good because of pigmentation? How about
when you question the former's character
in an utter absence of reason to do so, yet ignore the fact that in 2008, three
Republican candidates had 9 wives between them and only the Mormon was faithful
to one?
Are you being
non-judgmental when you chide someone for a political point of view which you
immediately translate into what you believe to be a lack of moral character,
even though your new POTUS has only been to church since his confirmation to
attend either his own serial marriages or those of his children?
And finally: How
do you make the many daily decisions of your own prejudiced and discriminatory
lives life in the absence of reasoned judgment? Did you get a divine message
saying "Behold my child, these are the people who are OK and these others
aren't?" or did you weigh their behavior against some standard and
"judge" it? Of course you didn't, did you, because you're not judgmental,
you're just a bigot.