We’ve all seen more than one instance where an on-air
personality, attempting to fill air space, either makes a really stupid statement or asks a truly inane question.
Granting all that, this morning I may have heard the topper of the list of “moronic
statements made on TV”. (Spoiler, this does not include Sarah Huckabee Sanders’
briefings, which are in their own parallel dimension of venality and stupidity.)
Because I
really like technology and “space stuff” in particular, I was watching the 7:05
(local time) Atlas launch from Vandenberg AFB of the “Insight” Mars explorer. Along
with the principal payload there were two data relay “cubes,” named “Marco 1”
and “Marco 2” which will serve as orbiting broadcast retransmission sources for Insight’s
seismic data.
After the (completely successful) launch there was a period when
the Centaur second stage with payload did a burn to get into position to deploy
three devices, and it coasted for about 45 minutes to get into the proper
orientation. During this time, the talking head was killing time with various
interviews with involved persons.
So “Biff”, the
on-air moron, was chatting with the NASA guy who was describing the deployment of
these payloads. Paraphrasing a bit for brevity he said that the Insight payload
would deploy first, and after it separated from the Centaur second stage and was
clear, Marco 1 would deploy, the Centaur would then do a 180-degree roll and Marco
2 would deploy. He then said that the three vehicles will fly in formation to Mars
with Insight in the lead. Insight will
land, the Marcos will orbit. At this point Biff actually asked, “How do you
think the Marcos will feel, having to follow in Insight’s
wake for six months?”
I give the NASA
guy major points for not slapping him and saying, “Feel?” “They’re inanimate
objects, you nit-wit.” Believe me you
could tell that he really, really wanted to say something of the sort, but to his
credit he just stared a moment, ignored the question and moved on.
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