More Stuff, some Odd,
some Sad, some Bad
Because I know y’all live for the next Florida Oddity, here’s
a really shitty one. Police in West Palm Beach have cited a local firm
recently. The company, “Advantage Rooter” (there’s a whole bit, right there) has
a driver whose mother, apparently inspired by her mouthwash, named him Lavoris (yep,
really; his sister, Listerine, swears to it). Anyway, Lavoris Grisby, on a
company mission, pumped down several community septic tanks at a local condo.
Rather than return to base when full, since there were several loads, Grisby
simply opened a nearby manhole and pumped his excreta laden tank several times into
the city’s storm drain system, spilling a fair amount into the street in the
process. The citation lists three counts of “illegal dumping of human waste.” Oh
well, it’s South Florida, whatcha gonna do?
Almost as odd,
but not as smelly, is the story of the Pennsylvania woman who, lending new degrees of meaning to the term "bag lady," recently announced
that her handbag collection now numbers in excess of 3,000, which she stores in
an US Army surplus Quonset hut on her estate. I get the whole collecting thing,
but 3,000? Samples include a bag fashioned from a taxicab light. “Imelda
Marcos, mover over; there’s a new goofy fashionista sheriff in town.”
A shipment of
Chinese fake Nike sneakers was seized recently at US Customs in SoCal (Long Beach).
I only mentioned this because I can’t figure out how to distinguish fake Chinese
manufactured grossly overpriced sneakers from real Chinese manufactured grossly
overpriced sneakers.
Police in
Runnymede, (not the English one, where Magna Carta was forced on King John, but
the one in New Jersey) have foiled a truly sinister plot at Saint Maria Goretti
RC Church. Nope, no priests, candy bars or altar boys were involved. The plot
centered on a fiendish plan by two women to rig the Church Hall’s weekly bingo
game. It seems that they believed that if they just taped a different number, one
which made their card a $200 winner, over the real number (not a winner) no one
would catch on. An eagle-eyed church volunteer caught them, however, and after
a suitable inquisition, in which one supposes, they recanted their board game apostasy,
they were banished. No worries, though, the Methodists will still welcome them
to the potluck after Bible Study on Wednesdays.
In much more
serious news, UNICEF estimates that there have been about 200,000 cases of
measles in Congo this year with more than 4,000 dead children as a result. How tragic that this completely “eliminable” disease
still is epidemic anywhere. So, Anti-vaxxers, have a nice winter season.
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