"You Might be a Trump Supporter If"

 A Top Ten For 2020

“You might be a Trump supporter if”:

10. If you ever had sex with a hooker because you didn’t want to “bother” your pregnant wife.

9. You believe there is no lie so great that it can’t be “sold” with a barrage of superlatives.

8. You believe it’s “just a guy thing” when Trump spends more time on his hair and tan every day than he has on meaningful legislation in four years.

7. You think all of President Obama’s clean air, water and environmental legislation was part of an Islamist plot to subvert democracy.

6. You believe Melania Trump will “stick around,” because she wants Barron to grow up “just like Don Jr. and Eric.”   

5. You believe that Trump, whose college record is so bad that his attorney threatened a lawsuit if any part of it was released, became transformed by divine providence into a medical genius in the face of a global pandemic, far outstripping actual doctors and PhD holding scientists.

4. You think Rudy Giuliani is a stand-up guy who “accidentally” found a hard drive at the landfill, which was “accidentally" discarded by Hunter Biden , who “accidentally” forgot to erase suspicious e-mails, but Lt. Colonel Alex Vindman, who gave up his career to tell the truth, is a “lying foreign, commie, homo, transgender, socialist bastard”.

3. You believe Sean Hannity sits at the right hand of Don; the father almighty.

2. You believe John Bolton, Mary Trump, Michael Cohen and Bob Woodward are all pathological liars, paid by the Clinton Foundation because your Evangelical pastor says Trump was sent from God.

1.  You believe Trump to be the greatest civil rights leader in our nation’s history because of his attempts to put Whites back on top of society “as God intended”.