Life Lessons Learned

 

Life lessons learned

 

Being pleasant and understanding with people generally takes far less energy than being a dick.

Always check the status of the roll of toilet tissue before you sit.

The probability of the dishwasher being full of clean dishes is directly proportional to the number of dirty ones you just created.

Bras never, ever, go in the dryer.

Always check the bottom of the bag before you pick up dog poop 

The trash will never take itself out.

Golf is inherently evil.

Barking dogs, like people, rarely bite. It's the quiet ones who bite you in the ass.

I don't automatically mistrust people who don't like dogs. On the other hand, I am always suspicious of people whom dogs don't like.

Those who know the most about good teaching tend to get the least press.

Dogs have owners, cats, on the other hand, see us more as staff.

"Pre-election season" is far too long. The Brits do it right by limiting campaigning to six weeks.

Dogs have many different expressions with many meanings, Cats do too, but they all essentially mean "feed me, bitch."

There are people walking among us who cannot or will not recognize the truth about some things. 

Assisted suicide is illegal in most states, but you can buy cigarettes anywhere.

Canine breeders are far more selective than human ones, and generally to a better end.

The later I get up, the earlier the trash pickup occurs.

If a drug's side effects outnumber the benefits, don't use it.

You have been lied to; broken cookies still have calories.