"You Just Say It!"

 

     I once had a student remark after a class, when we had discussed difficulties experienced in second language learning (for reasons I have long forgottten),  that he, "Didn't see why learning English was so hard." His simplistic reason was that, he said, "You just say it."   Yes, really, he said that. When last I saw him he was a counter man at a mall pizza joint. The following is more of a riff on the "oddities" of English which might seem opaque to non native speakers.          

        Listen to any type of verbal media for even a small amount of time and you are sure to hear any number of reasons why English is a difficult language for some non-native speakers to learn, especially for those whose native tongue is fairly literal and spelling reasonably straight forward.  Because of the olla podrida, stemming from various origins, into which English has evolved, we tend to find terms and combinations which, while the colloquial meaning may be (but isn't always) apparent, the origins are murky.

        Easy example. My computer has on occasion been "out of whack" or "out of kilter." But, can an object be "in whack?" or even "in kilter?"

        As generally used, we know what we mean but a learner might struggle with: Where is whack (or kilter)? Is it a commodity, such that, if I have none I can be out of it? It is a state of being? Why, if my car is out of kilter, can't I get it repaired and back "in kilter"?  As it turns out, change the spelling to "kelter" which meant "good order or health" in the 17th century, and it makes sense.

        I’ve frequently been characterized as nonchalant, and I know what that means, but, on a rare bad day when I might be “chalant”, how the hell am I supposed to act? Likewise, must I have been “calcitrant” on some prior occasion before I can become recalcitrant?  

        What might I get for my money it I approached a certain street vendor and ordered a "hot diggety dog?"  Hot, I'm pretty sure would still mean hot, but that diggety stuff scares me! Perhaps, like baluts, (chicken or duck eggs with 18-20 day embryos) which are buried at times by Filipinos until "ripe" for eating), "diggety dogs" are stored underground until "adequately ripe."  Don't know, don't wanna know.    

        My grandmother used to describe anything that wasn't even or level as either "cattywampus" or "sowickered" when she really meant they were "out of kilter". Go figure. Cattywampus always sounded to me like a broom one might use to "shoo" a cat.  The origins are lost, but best guess is that it comes from "quatre" as in French for "four" referring to four corners, or square. Sowickered? I got nuthin'.

One word which I find particularly evocative in meaning is the South Carolina euphemism for vomit - "cascade."  This, defecation, and masturbation may be the three words with the largest number of referential and euphemistic aliases. I'll leave the other two alone, but in addition to the beautiful mountain stream image created by "cascade" my personal top ten include:

1) barfing

2) visual burp

3) blowing chunks

4) talking to Ralph on the big white telephone

5) yakking

6) to tumble groceries    

7) the liquid laugh

8) yawning in Technicolor

9) revisiting lunch

10) a tie between "3d shouting" and "chowder gargling"

A double honorable mention goes to:  "Induce an involuntary personal protein spill" (credit George Carlin), and from Men at Work, in  their song “Land Down Under”, the word “chunder”, meaning barf, etc.

I know we all have our faves, but these are mine.

        I'll leave you with several terms from our friends in the UK, which I guarantee would leave a non-native speaker in the dust. The first two are more Irish:

        "Take the piss."  I know, sounds straightforward, like maybe you might do it in the loo? Not so fast my non-Anglophilic friend; it actually means to make fun of, tease or take advantage of a person, as in "are you serious or just taking the piss?" This one actually shows up in Brit (and sometimes Aussie) network TV dialogue occasionally.

        The other, similar sounding in origin, but not meaning, is "Dry Shite."  Again, we might think we have a feel for the meaning and the posterior discomfort it implies, but not so much.  It means " boring" or, if leveled at someone, as calling them a bore. In usage:  Collum could either BE a "dry shite" or what he was speaking about was "dry shite."

        "Bob's your uncle," meaning "things are fine, or optimum." Its roots go back 1887 when British Prime Minister Robert Gascoyne-Cecil appointed his nephew Arthur James Balfour as Minister for Ireland, a post for which he was underprepared. The phrase 'Bob's your uncle' was coined when Arthur referred to the Prime Minister as 'Uncle Bob'. Apparently, it's very simple to become a minister when Bob's your uncle (or if your name is Trump) So, if Bob was/is your uncle, you’re doing fine.

A similar phrase in meaning is describing anything which is working well as being "Tickety- Boo".  This probably came back from India with the British army.  A common Hindi phrase “tikai babu,” which translates as “it’s all right, sir” became Tickety-Boo in English.

        Let’s finish with one derived from rhyming slang, (of which there is a lot) and absolutely undecipherable if you don't know already. "Have a butcher's" comes from Cockney rhyming slang. Back in the day, butcher shops hung meat on hooks as display. "Hook" is a sound alike for "look" so "have a butcher's" means to “have (or take) a look.” There are literally well over a hundred such Brit rhyme-based slang terms. A couple of final examples: Raspberry tart, Vera Lynn, Elephant’s Trunk, and Baked Bean, mean in the same order, “fart”, “gin”, “drunk”, and “queen.”   

Hope this helps all my non-English speaking readers