Odds ands Ends

Odds and Ends

    One of my favorite lead phrases for any news article is “A Florida Man (or woman)…..”, simply because I know that what is to follow will probably be weird, funny, astonishing or probably a combination thereof. At times, its almost as if we live in a real life “Truman Show” sort of state where events are directed by Quentin Tarantino.

    Sadly, it isn’t always funny. The latest example might read: “A Florida man, one with great authority within the state, upon witnessing consecutive days of record numbers of new cases of a rebounding global pandemic, responded by simply saying. ‘so fucking what?’”

    Our sorry excuse for a governor has apparently ignored the reality of the surge in delta variant Covid cases and simply maintained, against any and all responsible medical advice, that state school administrators are prohibited from levying any requirements for masks in their schools. One of his (quoted) reasons was that he wanted, to “See (his children) laugh and smile!” He also opined, several days ago, that, “I think it's very important that we say, unequivocally, no to lockdowns, no to school closures, no to restrictions and no mandates," He went on to declare, “They should not be consigned to live -- regardless of which state in the union -- consigned to live in a Faucian dystopia in which we're governed by the whims of bureaucratic authorities who care little for our freedom, little for our aspirations and little for our happiness. No more. We can't let it happen going forward."

    If this weren’t simple egotistic pandering to a Republican power base in Trump’s newly selected home of record, it might bear further examination. However, in light of rapidly increasing rates of new cases of Covid and continued DeSantis rejection of vaccination mandates extending even to cruise lines, among other supremely ignorant positions, it is almost impossible to understand.

    The key here, is to acknowledge that Ron DeSantis has higher aspirations than Governor of Florida and that, while his inactivity re: Covid and his refusals to heed competent medical advice are supremely self-serving and unconcerned about the health of all of his constituents, he does understand the Trumpist lunatic fringe and shamelessly courts their votes. For the last two years of Trump’s term, DeSantis has been so shamelessly close behind that a sudden Trump stop would have broken DeSantis’ nose.

    While I would never wish anyone ill. I thought I might consider an exception if the Governor were to contract Covid, because I think he, like many of those former “mask/distancing/vaccination nay-sayers, might have a change of heart. Then I thought again and decided my official position would be “screw him, I hope he pukes up his toenails.”

    On a lighter note, federal officials in South Florida recently arrested a man and his two sons who were selling glorified bleach and marketing it as a cure for COVID-19, cancer, autism, multiple sclerosis, AIDS and pretty much every other ailment under the sun. The “Mineral Miracle Solution,” as it was called, was actually toxic on top of not being able to cure any modern illnesses, according to authorities. Just as ridiculous, an Okeechobee County commissioner was forced to issue an apology for telling his constituents that they could rid themselves of the coronavirus simply by blowing a hair dryer up their nose. He said “the virus just falls apart and disintegrates” from the heat. NO, just no!

    A Tampa man was arrested on Wednesday afternoon for DUI after he reportedly mistook a bank drive-thru for Taco Bell. According to the Hernando County Sheriff's Office, the manager of Bank of America on Mariner Boulevard called to report an impaired driver after he found an unconscious man behind the wheel of a blue sedan in the bank's drive-thru lane. The manager told deputies that after beating on the car window for "some time," he was able to wake up the driver.

    Upon finally being roused, the driver asked the bank manager for a burrito and a Pepsi before driving away after being informed he was not at Taco Bell. The impaired man didn't get far before again pulling off and drowsing. Upon arrival, police found prescription Oxycodone and other drugs in the car and, one assumes, in the suspect.

 And finally: 

    Looking for that perfect anniversary or birthday dinner venue? Why not try combining dining with “rasslin’? Yeah, really. There is normally a fairly wide abyss between these two diversions, but in Florida? Definitely not so at Manor Professional Wrestling Dinner Theater, in Kissimmee, just south of Orlando, where body slams and spandex are served up along with your ringside supper. Try the Head Lock Green Salad or the Drop Kicking Veggie Medley. (yes, really) while watching “Lord Darkness” or “Lady Golden Eyes” competing in the endless (and flamboyantly stage managed) battle of good versus evil. And on that note, I close (for now).