04/30/2023
Why the mothers in the
various paper towel commercials never lose it and go postal on the careless urchin.....
NCIS LA - how the US Navy ever commissioned a
4 ft 10-inch dwarf and placed her in charge of anything
Q-tips, warning labels in
general: “Do not insert swab into ear canal. Entering the ear canal could cause
injury.” OMG who would do that? (90% of users!)
Why people will believe
things they want to believe on little or no evidence, and refuse things they
ought to believe with lots of proof.
Why those who seem most
likely to espouse the WWJD ideal rarely ever act as Jesus probably would have.
What mental process
occurs to make one simultaneously pro-life and pro capital punishment.
New Explanation!
Recto-Cranial Inversion -
An old naval term for the condition in which one's head is so far up one's
kiester that they can read the newspaper through their navel. It is widely
believed that that persons with this condition lose their ability to reason,
make sound judgments and think critically. Of course, one may wonder, "How
would I know if this (RCI) has happened to me?
What follows, all due homage to Jeff Foxworthy, is a sampling of
indicators that you might have undergone an RCI.
1) If you believe Marjorie
Taylor Green should have stayed married so she could have more children ....
you may have had an RCI.
2) If you honestly
believe any of the "Real Housewives of (your town here)" are real
housewives..... you may have had an undetected RCI
3) If you believe that
any person who physically resembles Linda Hunt runs any para-military unit on
the planet ..... you had an RCI.
4) If you believe that an
abused child is better off with their abusive parent(s) or in foster care than with
a committed gay couple who want to adopt them....... you have had an RCI (and
your name is Santorum)
5) If you really believe that Twitter is "really
important" because we all really need to know when Justin Bieber gets a
haircut.....you have suffered an RCI.
6) If you can't get through a complete English
sentence (y'know, subject, predicate, etc) without saying
"like" seven times in totally inappropriate context........ you have
suffered an RCI
7) If you believe Matt
Gaetz has important life lessons to teach all of us............
8) If you think OJ
Simpson was innocent and that Kim Kardashian should be flattered that he claimed to have fathered her...............RCI
9. If you think
televangelists are really doing it to serve God, and not for the money.........RCI
10. If your dog has
coordinated costumes for most major holidays....................... RCI
11. If you pay to valet
park and bitch about the price of gasoline............. RCI
12. If you smoke because "Well, you gotta
die of somethin'” …………definite RCI
13. If you don't believe
the warning on a box of q-tips ("never stick them in your ear") is
the most ignored warning label in the world.......you've had an RCI
14. If you dress and
paint your 6-year-old like a hooker and enter her in pageants because "She
just loves them"...... you have a crowded colon.
15. If you really think
that we have been visited by aliens who, by sheer coincidence, always happen to
land in trailer parks in Arkansas ...........RCI.
16. If you really believe "right to
work" laws protect workers............ RCI
17. If you define and/or
limit yourself for life based on something (good or bad) that happened 15 years
ago....... you have lived with an RCI, and wasted a lot of living!
18. If you believe Bill's
BJ was worse than Trump’s rapes, .............major RCI
19. If you think the "student" part of
the term: "student Athlete" really applies to most NCAA division I basketball
or football players .............you have had an RCI
20. If you think just being here is all the
justification you need to expect society to support you without some effort on
your part............your head is in a very dark place indeed.
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