Organic Schmorganic!

                                                               Organic-Schmorganic!

                Did you ever wonder  why large "up-scale"  grocery stores (no names, but they rhyme with Whole Nudes and  Trader  Schmoes) place their "organic" produce in a location  other than beside the conventionally grown stuff?  Throughout this piece I will place the word "organic" in quotes, since the definition is nebulous and there is little or no specified testing in place to insure it's even adhered to.  Could it be that the "organic" stuff just looks so much funkier that the stores don't want them side by side for comparison, since no one comparing them side by side would choose the "organic, especially at the higher price? 

                It can't be nutrition- a recent British study categorically refutes claims by the "organicists" to the nutritional  high ground. Of course, this sent a shudder through the advertising industry, the true apostles of all things "organic,"  since they've been selling  "organic" like Snickers Bars for years. So, if "organic" isn't more nutritious , not safer,  but is a lot costlier, why buy it? Well, if I'm an American parent with means , what better way to show it by buying the "right" food at the "right" place? For some folks food is a status symbol - yeah, I know, but  isn't who you are a better index of worth than what you eat? After all, conventionally grown food is too plebian,  accessible to everyone,  but organically grown foods that are priced two to three times the normal price "must be better because they cost more - right?"  Never mind that organically grown food has been shown to be an inefficient use of soil and labor -  that actually just contributes to the "organic" mystique.  Ain't nobody buyin' organic food with food stamps, right?  (insert Church Lady "superiority dance" here)

                Claims of safety are even more ridiculous when we consider that China, that paragon of food safety (remember the dead pets?)  ships essentially 100% of  its "certified organic" produce to the USA , which accepts virtually all of it under a system which substitutes record keeping and documentation for actual testing! When done (which is seldom, and not mandated by the government), actual testing rejects 25 times as much Chinese produce as Canadian produce. One quarter of Chinese "organic" produce tested showed traces of pesticides banned in the US, yet Chinese "certified Organic" commands twice the price of conventionally produced crops (here in the US that is, the Chinese in China don't give a  s**t  and won't pay more!).

                It would be laughable if not so pathetic.  Here's the rub - those most likely to "buy organic" are generally the more highly educated in society - the ones that should understand  that Ammonia, Nitrogen , Potassium, etc.,  are elements. they are atomically  the same in a bag or in a bovine colon! What is also in a cow's waste (that  darling of "organicists" - manure!) is E-coli and other potentially dangerous bacteria.  The theory is that  applying  manure, rock powders, rotted vegetable matter,  fermented fish wastes and crab shells, etc, etc. to the soil is better in many ways.   There are several sometimes fatal diseases  associated with "organically grown" crops which  can stem from not only bacteria in animal wastes, but from molds and fungi in some composts. There is no (as in zip, zilch, nada) study showing risk associated with pesticides used as directed, yet in the last year alone people died from E-coli associated with "organically grown"  lettuce. Yuck, who knows what's in that stuff? Give me nice clean responsibly used chemical fertilizers every time. I know what I'm getting and my food doesn't have insect holes, rotted spots or  toothmarks  and doesn't rot after a day in the fridge!

Imagine if you will, (yeah, I'm going to pick on California, since it's an easy target) the grown up surfer, worried about buying organic since "It's better, bro."  At the same time he and the kids go surfing in a bath of cosmic radiation, hold a microwave emitter to their heads several  hours daily, text while driving and don't wear seatbelts.  We routinely panic about insignificant health risks  and just as routinely ignore very significant ones (see above) if it's more convenient to do so. Similarly, consumers routinely obsess about insignificant health risks that have never even have been shown to occur (pesticides, fertilizers) and ignore real health risks such as food borne  illnesses caused by E-coli and Salmonella in animal wastes.

                You want to know the real difference between "organic" food and regular food?  "Organic" food costs a lot more. Period. Many people seem to think that "organic" food is healthier  than  regular food...not true at all. In fact, it may actually be less beneficial. Studies have found that that there are no benefits to "organic" food at all, and it's essentially impossible to differentiate taste. Nutrients in foods come from the soil. Whether the plant is "organic," or not,  has nothing to do with that. But here's the real scoop.  "Organic," like its sister scams "all natural " and "Lite,"  is an ad man's  nocturnal fantasy - relatively undefined and undefinable with tremendous snob appeal and no burden of proof.  here's a flash - raw milk  is "natural" and can give you tuberculosis, "Lite" margerines are just a molecule or two away from paint and plastic, yet many Americans use them vice butter, which as actually food !   Give me my  salad with nice wax coated cucumbers and hot house tomatoes and regular lettuce - hold the E-coli!