Monday, March 12, 2012

     This from the brilliant, if somewhat strange, David Cross


"I’m assuming that cows, like people and dogs, have varying degrees of intelligence. So at some point there was a cow of superior advanced intelligence running around a slaughterhouse somewhere that had figured out what was going on. That death was imminent, and all their masters were not benevolent nurturers but rather evil murderers luring them to their deaths. But he couldn’t communicate this to the other cows because all the other cows were of average cow intelligence—i.e., stupid. Maybe even the cow was smart enough to know that he was just a cow and would never be able to impart the sense of urgency needed to escape because cows are stupid. Must’ve been maddening. Also, I wonder if we’d be less prone to eating beef if the noise a cow makes sounded less like “moo” and more like “help.” Probably not. They’re delicious."

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