I'm here to help!!

In these troubled political times, it's hard sometimes to figure out what's what and who you support. Accordingly, using the wisdom of my years, I've prepared a top ten list to help you.

                           Top ten ways to know if you are a Republican

10.  You believe the Government has never done anything good.

9.  You believe that, left alone, businesses will always act honorably and not just to further profits, no matter whom they hurt.

8.  You think (convicted felon) Oliver North is an American hero and Colin Powell is an "Uncle Tom."

7.  You dislike Hispanics, Blacks and Asians unless they are successful, in which case you suck up to them.

6.  If Male, you want the government to leave you alone,  but to police every uterus in America.

5.  You believe that same sex couples in committed relations should not marry or raise children, but each of Rush Limbaugh's  four unions was sacred.

4.  Your attitude toward the poor and health care can be summarized as:  "F**k  'em, I've got mine."

3. You think Lyndon Johnson was a borderline Commie  for pushing  Medicare,  Medicaid, the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Voting Rights Act of 1965,  but loved that Gulf of Tonkin Resolution and the carnage it spawned.

2.  You secretly just can't shake the feeling that every rape victim was "asking for it" and deserves to be punished.

1.  You say you believe children are a gift from God,  but after they're born  are just a drain on the system. It's ok if they starve to death or die of a childhood disease, but don't you dare touch a 150 cell mindless blob in the womb.