I recently wrote on the topic of
prescription drug naming and advertising. Of special concern to me is that we
are bombarding persons with information which many can’t effectively process,
since the prescription of specific medications also requires intimate knowledge
of possible drug interactions, the bastion of protection of which is the
pharmacist, if the doctor misses it. Even these pros sometimes get it wrong,
but the self prescription continues.
We’re not much better with our pets. It
is less dangerous, but more humorous to reflect on what the object of pet
product advertising is and how owners are manipulated by advertisers. I cringe every time I see the words “Home
Style” on a can of dog food. What the hell is a dog’s home style? For some dogs, it’s cat poop, a flavor
preference which I believe has been woefully underappreciated and underexploited by pet food manufacturers.
“Purina,” (pure!! Who wouldn’t like that?), Beneful (must be beneficial, it's in the name!), Sirloin (sirloin??!!) Burger, Prime Slices, Alpo Chop House, (Really? Most chop houses won’t let dogs in!). At the cost of prime beef, there would be about 15 dog owners in the country if the word "Prime" accurately described the product!
“Purina,” (pure!! Who wouldn’t like that?), Beneful (must be beneficial, it's in the name!), Sirloin (sirloin??!!) Burger, Prime Slices, Alpo Chop House, (Really? Most chop houses won’t let dogs in!). At the cost of prime beef, there would be about 15 dog owners in the country if the word "Prime" accurately described the product!
The list following is simply a collection of some of the
most laughable dog food brand names if
you really consider their literal meanings:
Bow Wow Butler, Addiction Dog Food, Aunt Jeni’s Home Made, Canine Caviar
(sturgeons beware!), Cesar Gourmet Filets, Chicken Soup for the Dog Lover’s Soul,
Darwin’s Natural Selections (lol),
Earthborne Holistic Moist Dinners, I
Am Love and You Nude Food, Oven Baked Tradition [grain free!].
But, as amusing as the above are, the prize winner has to be the three following gross affronts to the nature of the animal: Pet Guard Vegan canned dog food, Wysong Vegan dog and cat food, and Natural Life vegetarian Dry Dog Food. I would humbly submit that there nothing natural about a vegan dog or cat! It has been my experience, on the other hand, that vegetables (mainly grass) is what these animals consume when they want to puke! I can imagine two feral dogs finding some three day old road kill and one asks the other “Hey, man, wanna split this raccoon?”, and the other responds, in his best Tommy Chong "man" voice, “No thanks, man, I’m a vegan, I'm not into meat.”
But, as amusing as the above are, the prize winner has to be the three following gross affronts to the nature of the animal: Pet Guard Vegan canned dog food, Wysong Vegan dog and cat food, and Natural Life vegetarian Dry Dog Food. I would humbly submit that there nothing natural about a vegan dog or cat! It has been my experience, on the other hand, that vegetables (mainly grass) is what these animals consume when they want to puke! I can imagine two feral dogs finding some three day old road kill and one asks the other “Hey, man, wanna split this raccoon?”, and the other responds, in his best Tommy Chong "man" voice, “No thanks, man, I’m a vegan, I'm not into meat.”
The word is anthropormorphisation, and it’s what humans do
when they assume their pets to have human characteristics. As a dog owner, I’m
sometimes as guilty as the next guy, regarding the way I talk to my dog, and we
certainly treat her better than some kids are treated, more’s the pity, but I also look at what’s in the dog food
can. I have yet to see filet mignon,
sirloin burger, “deli snacks” or any similar human food, nor should I. Pet food manufacturers base advertising on what they think we, the owners, find appetizing and peddle it to us who, in turn, feed it to an animal which licks it's own ass for no apparent reason.
You know the pet food industry is playing both ends against the middle when the same store sells a dry food whose bag proclaims, “No Wheat!” Of course, this is simply a repeat of the current “gluten free” advertising craze which takes advantage of sheer consumer ignorance. If you’ve grown to adulthood and have never experienced any of the effects of celiac disease, than you’re one of the 99% of us for whom gluten is just another nutrient factor in wheat. The same is true for your dog! Right beside the “no wheat” premium food is the Grain based food. Who’s right? Neither. We may feed our dog differently than if they were in the state of nature, but don’t you dare call it “natural” I’ve seen what dogs eat if left to their own devices – essentially anything including, unfortunately, their own (or others’) feces. Now that’s All Natural!
You know the pet food industry is playing both ends against the middle when the same store sells a dry food whose bag proclaims, “No Wheat!” Of course, this is simply a repeat of the current “gluten free” advertising craze which takes advantage of sheer consumer ignorance. If you’ve grown to adulthood and have never experienced any of the effects of celiac disease, than you’re one of the 99% of us for whom gluten is just another nutrient factor in wheat. The same is true for your dog! Right beside the “no wheat” premium food is the Grain based food. Who’s right? Neither. We may feed our dog differently than if they were in the state of nature, but don’t you dare call it “natural” I’ve seen what dogs eat if left to their own devices – essentially anything including, unfortunately, their own (or others’) feces. Now that’s All Natural!
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