Mean kids

        Once upon a time there was a man named Spiro. His parents were Greek immigrants who came to America, worked hard, and helped send  their son to college. Eventually, Spiro worked so hard that he became the political boss of a strange and wonderful place called Maryland. In 1967, a man named Richard wanted to be political boss of the whole country, and he needed an easterner to do what is known as "balancing the ticket" as a Vice President.  Being an easterner and relatively unknown outside Maryland, Spiro seemed like a great choice. What Richard wouldn't know until later was that while Spiro was unknown to most Americans, he was very well known to certain contractors in Maryland and had taken bribes from them.

        Richard won the election based largely on a "secret plan" to end a war in a faraway place called Vietnam. His secret plan was to quit and come home, and many Americans were ready to do just that . Some people, called Democrats, didn't like Richard much, especially after he blamed some college students for their own deaths and bombed countries America wasn't even fighting. Rather than go himself and speak badly of these persons, Richard sent Spiro, armed with mean speeches by men named Patrick and William. These were nasty speeches, using strange words  like "nattering nabobs of negativism" and "effete corps of impudent snobs," so Spiro had to study very hard. As good as he was at being mean, Spiro had to leave his job with Richard and go home to answer for those old bribes.

        Richard's next  Vice President was a nice man named Gerald, who loved his dog and fell down a lot, Gerald's Vice president was named Rocky, and he died later when his secretary fell on him. Neither Gerald or Rocky made mean speeches. 

     After a while, a man named Ronald became President and he had a Vice President named George Bush. Both were nice men, generally, but there was an evil man in the Congress named Newt and a radio guy named Rush who took over the mean speech department.  Rush also took drugs, but before they caught him he was made an "honorary" member of the Congress. Newt and Rush talked nasty about Big Bird, and Bert and Ernie, the whole time Ronald was President, even when he began to forget who they were. After Ronald left, George took over for four years after he beat another Greek  guy, named Michael, for President. He won by showing pictures of a large mean  Black man named Willie Horton and telling the country that Michael would send otheer Black men to your house if you didn't vote for him (George). Newt was still around as the mean speech guy too, and he had a buddy named Lee who helped him with the meanest stuff..

       In 1992, a strange thing happened. As much as the mean speech guys spoke against him, and as relatively unknown as he was, a man named Bill became the President. He was a smart man, but had trouble with his fly, sometimes. When he was President, there were many persons called Republicans who hated him, but more persons called Americans who liked him  a lot. While he was President, lots of things got better, and the Government actually had enough money to pay its bills. Mr. Bill was President for eight years, even though some mean persons in the Congress tried to fire him, but all they did was make most Americans mad for wasting time and money. Early during Bill's time, people began to like Newt less and less, till he quit.

        After eight years, Bill had to leave and his Vice President, Albert, tried to be President. The election was close, actually settled by one vote - in the biggest court of the land. The winner was also named George, and he was the son of the earlier President George. He looked a bit like Alfred E. Newman, but wasn't that smart.  He didn't speak English good, didn't read much, and wasn't sure if our children was learning.  When he won, he started to plan a war. His war was with Iraq, and he said it would only last a year or so, since those people would love us for getting rid of their government. The man who told him to do this was the same man who told his father not to do it , nine years earlier, which confused some of us Americans.  

       In September of  2001, several very bad men flew several airplanes into big buildings and hurt a lot of people. George blamed the leader of Iraq, even though there was no real reason to believe they did it. Then he started his war. He had mean speech makers, too, named Dick and Donald. The war was very expensive, and the extra money Bill had planned for turned into much, much, more debt, instead. After seven years of George,  some more bad things happened. First, the war continued, second, some people in the money business realized that promises to pay weren't really the same as money. 

     In the last year of George's second term, many Americans lost their jobs, Many person's savings were lost, as were their houses. He promised Iraq that in 2011, American forces would leave Iraq , and he tried to help the money people with a "bail out," because he said they were "too big to fail." George still had many mean speech makers, but they usually were mean about policy, not personal things.

        In November 2007, something strange happened. A man became President who wasn't white. His name was Barack. He was far smarter than George, his daughters weren't slutty drunks, and he was a Democrat, like Bill had been. When he took over, things in America were pretty bad; the economy was slow, many were unemployed, and many couldn't even afford healthcare. Some people, like Rush, Sean, Glenn and a whole TV network, made mean speeches against Barack. Even some women, like Sarah and Michele  said all sorts of nasty things against him. These mean thing were personal. When he did things that all the Presidents before him had done, they still picked on him.  Some Americans believed it wasn't because of his job , but because of the color of his skin. After he won a second term, these mean persons almost went crazy, inventing all; sorts of foolish mean things to say against him.   

        Republicans were so busy making up mean lies about President Barack that  they didn't notice that the economy had gotten much  better than it was when he was elected, and that many more people had jobs. They didn't notice that the government was doing much better at paying its bills than when George was president.  They screamed about the President's effort to provide health care for more Americans, then, when it worked far better and cost less than expected, they became quiet. They blamed Barack for leaving Iraq, even though George had signed an agreement to do it! After doing nothing about America's immigration problem, they screamed when the President acted.

        Now  that President Obama is in the late part of his term, there are people speaking mean about him again. Many of  these people want to be president. One wants even to be another President Bush. Most of them are trying to get attention by making mean speeches against the president. One who is different, is a guy named Rudy. Rudy was a mayor of New York. Some liked him, some didn't, but what Rudy really, really wanted to be was  President! In 2008, he tried, but his own party told him no, so now, this bitter little man realizing he'll never be President has become the  new Spiro, making mean speeches calling the President all sorts of things. He will be joined by Scott, Rand, Joni and others who have nothing of their own which is positive to talk about, so they, like Rudy and Spiro, will go on doing what losers do. Meanwhile, George's little brother, Jebbie , says he has no problem with President Barack personally, he just hates his "catastrophic policies."  It's amazing how much Jebbie has forgotten about 2000-2008, and how little he apparently  understands about the economy, health care and other things as they are now. Maybe he's talking about the situation in  the Middle East - you remember, the region brother George destabilized with his adventure in Iraq?