More forgettable motion picture silliness

I read today that, media  furor notwithstanding, the new Adam Sandler movie "The Ridiculous Six" will be released by Netflix. There have been numerous complaints and protests , principally by Native American groups who cite several racial and ethnic slurs and portrayals of Indians. Examples include an  Indian woman squatting to pee while apparently smoking a peace pipe, a "squaw" named "Doesn't wear a bra,"  and other equally inappropriate and inane references.

        If this were all that was wrong with this film, it would suffice, but there is more, oh, so much more. Where to begin?

        OK, for starters, Sandler actually was able to convince someone with money that it was necessary and/or proper to attempt a remake (a "comedy" remake, no less) of the iconic western "The Magnificent Seven.  Remaking this motion picture as a comedy is only even worth considering if your name is Mel Brooks, and even he demurred. Sandler's decision to do so evinces a degree of hubris on a par with deciding to cast Paris Hilton as the lead in "The Mother Theresa Story."  This motion picture in its original form had a cast of  real actors, many with Oscar nominations and awards. You might assume that  Sandler might cast himself in the Steve McQueen role, or perhaps the Eli Wallach, Charles Bronson  or Yul  Brynner roles?  One waits with bated breath.         

        Secondly and more to the point. When did someone decide that Sandler really had the chops to carry a feature length film? Was it the flukey success of  Happy Gilmore, a film with actual moments much like what Sandler can actually do - that is sustain a 5 minute sketch, a la SNL? Sandler and Bob Barker calling each other names is actually funny for about three minutes. The Hanukkah Song is also an amusing three minutes, as were  the lunch lady sketches.  I think Sandler jumped the shark for me when he actually conned Kathy Bates into co-starring in "Waterboy."  She certainly didn't need the money, so I assume he blackmailed her.  It is equally remarkable to me that Burt Reynolds didn't find and kill him for remaking and ruining   "The Longest Yard."  And, lord knows, Billy Idol wasn't acting when he curled his lip at Sandler in "The Wedding Singer"

        Finally, someone, anyone, please tell Sandler that he isn't, and never will be, Ben Stiller. He lacks the acting chops and humanity  which Stiller displays when called for. Stiller is an actor first, comic actor second, a point lost on Sandler. Take every Adam Sandler attempt at comedy film  making so far (and I exclude Fifty First Dates, a somewhat non-comedic outing made better by Drew Barrymore's presence) and they are woefully short of Stiller's  genius turn in Zoolander. I just grinned simply thinking about  that movie. I have to stop now, I think I got the black lung, Pa.