Saturday, March 20, 2021

I Love Language

 

                                  I love language

 

        Listen to any type of verbal media for even a small amount of time and you are sure to hear any number of reasons why English is a difficult language for some non-native speakers to learn, especially for those whose native tongue is fairly literal and spelling reasonably straight forward.  Because of the olla podrida into which English has evolved, we tend to find terms and combinations which, while the colloquial meaning may be  (but isn't always)  apparent, the origins are murky.

        Easy example. My computer has on occasion been "out of whack" or "out of kilter." But, can an object be "in whack?" or even "in kilter?"

        As generally used, we know what we mean but a learner might struggle with: Where is whack (or kilter)? Is it a commodity, such that if I have none I can be out of it? It is a state of being? Why, if my car is out of kilter, can't I get it repaired and back "in kilter"?  As it turns out, change the spelling to "kelter" which meant "good order or health" in the 17th century, and it makes sense.

         What might I get for my money it I approached a certain street vendor and ordered a "hot diggety dog?"  Hot, I'm pretty sure would still mean hot, but that “diggety” shit scares me! Perhaps like baluts (chicken or duck eggs with 18-20 day embryos) which are buried at times by Filipinos until "ripe" for eating) "diggety dogs" are stored underground until "adequately ripe."  Don't know, don't wanna know.    

        My Pennsylvania Dutch grandmother used to describe anything that wasn't even or level as either "cattywampus" or "sowickered" when she really meant they were "out of kilter". Go figure. Cattywampus always sounded to me like a broom one might use to "shoo" a cat.  The origins are lost, but best guess is that it comes from "quatre" as in French for "four" referring to four corners, or square. Sowickered? I got nuthin'. And, oh yeah, PA Dutch aren’t or weren’t “Dutch,” They were German (“Deutsche”)

        One which I find particularly evocative in meaning is the South Carolina euphemism for vomit - "cascade".  This, defecation and masturbation may be the three words with the largest number of referential aliases. I'll leave the other two alone, but in addition to the beautiful mountain stream image created by "cascade" my personal top ten include:

1) barfing

2) visual burp

3) blowing chunks

4) talking to Ralph on the big white telephone

5) yakking

6) to tumble groceries    

7) the liquid laugh

8) yawning in Technicolor

9) revisiting lunch

10) a tie between "3d shouting" and "chowder gargling"

honorable mention goes to:  "Induce an involuntary personal protein spill" (credit George Carlin)

I know we all have our faves, but these are mine.

        As a frequent viewer and fan of Australian cop shows, I have discovered several previously unknown (to me) euphemisms and phrases.  If you have been somewhere doing almost anything and it didn’t work out because of your actions, I might ask, on your return, “How’d ya go?” This connotes any action conceivable and substitutes for a host of longer and more involved questions. If you erred, and things went awry due to your actions your response might well be “I stuffed up.”

Apparently, by mutual agreement in all ANZAC media, if you mean to say “fuck”, “fucking”, “fuck it” (or you, or them or me) or “fucked,” you can’t say that on TV, but you can substitute “stuff.”, “get stuffed”, “stuff you,” “go stuff yourself”  “stuffing” or “stuffed” which everyone knows is synonymous with the “f bomb”, and boy do they ever. It is also used in adjective form such as “stuffing asshole” and one time “stuffing dickhead,” dickhead apparently also being fair game. I’m talking network broadcast TV here, not cable.

        In fact, Aussies have unique slang terms which can be almost as difficult to grasp as Cockney rhyming slang. Quick example”: “Saturday arvo, we was at the beach and went into a nearby bottle-o. This dag in a budgie smuggler hits me up for a durry.  I told him to get stuffed and rack off, bought me a rack of stubbies, some hot snags and a sanger, and left.  

Just in case you don’t speak Aussie, that translates as: “Saturday afternoon, we went to a liquor store near the beach. A nerd in a speedo asked me for a cigarette. I told him to fuck off and go away, bought a case of beer, some hot sausages and a sandwich and left.”      

 

        Finally, I'll leave you with several terms from our friends in the UK, which I guarantee would leave a non-native speaker in the dust. The first two are more Irish:

"Take the piss."  I know, sounds straightforward, like maybe you might do it in the loo? Not so fast my non-Anglophilic friend; it actually means to make fun of, tease or take advantage of a person, as in "are you serious or just taking the piss?" This one actually shows up in Brit TV dialogue frequently. Scots use it even more.

        The other, similar sounding in origin, but not meaning, is "Dry Shite."  Again, we might think we have a feel for the meaning and the posterior discomfort it implies but not so much.  It means " boring" or if leveled at someone, as calling them a bore. In usage:  Collum could either BE a "dry shite" or what he was speaking about was "dry shite."

        "Bob's your uncle," meaning "things are fine, or optimum." Its roots go back to a man named Robert, a British cabinet minister who appointed his nephew to a government job without the nephew’s being really qualified. So, if Bob was/is you uncle, you’re doing fine.

        A similar phrase in meaning is "Tickety- Boo".  This probably came back from India with the British army.  A common Hindi phrase “tikai babu,” which translates as “it’s all right, sir” became Tickety-Boo in English.

        Let’s finish with one derived from rhyming slang, and absolutely undecipherable if you don't know already. "Have a butcher's" comes from Cockney rhyming slang. Back in the day, butcher shops hung meat on hooks as display. "Hook" is a sound alike for "look" so "have a butcher's" means to have (or take) a look.

Hope this helps all my non-English speaking readers......oh wait, I only have one; so Leina, enjoy this and I hope the other Philistines will be amused as well.

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