Silly Word Games
English is a language which can be confusing and difficult
to learn for non-native speakers. There are numerous reasons for this, from
words spelled identically, but with different usage, to a host of other
oddities. In some cases, the afore mentioned results in a word being used in
identical form as both a noun and a verb.
“The bandage was
wound around his leg to cover his wound.” Identical spelling. Usage and meaning
unrelated
Or: "No time like the present," he said. "It's time to present her the
present." Three usages - two parts of speech.
And then, even more confusing for the language learner: “John
had to write to the right people to keep his rights during his rites.” One
sentence, Four identical pronunciations (homonyms): a verb, two nouns and an
adjective.
Adding more confusion
is the fact that English also has a fair number if “contranyms,” that is, words
which are spelled and pronounced identically and used in opposite meanings. I
might “sanction” your actions, meaning giving the OK, or the US might (does) “sanction”
Iran economically, having quite a different connotation. Other such usages are:
Sanguine: Confidently cheerful, or bloodthirsty, Wear: To endure, or to
deteriorate, Overlook: To supervise, or to neglect, and many more.
I said that to lead
to my point, that being that the language is already hard enough without the
additional bastardizations of lazy speech. Begin with the execrable upward inflection
syndrome. You know, “uptalking?” – the upward inflection at the end of a sentence
which seems to have crept into everyday usage? It seems to have entered around the
same time as the word “like” became the third or fourth word in every US teen’s
speech. Adding the upward inflection would seem to be a sort of “verbal shorthand”
for “do you understand?”
The
bastard cousin of the “uptalk” and gratuitous “like” is the equally meaningless
verbal chaff, “I know, right?” Only you know if you know, so why ask me?
Ok, now to different,
but related issues: What defines “the next level?” Is there a chart somewhere?
In the absence of such guidance, how would one even know if, or when, they
reached it? This phrase joins another ad-speak favorite on the list of word and
phrase usages, whose deletion would enrich our language. The word is “premium.”
The word itself has two primary meanings per Mr. Webster. The first relates to
money paid for a service, such as insurance. The second relates to scarcity.
As overused in
advertising, it is applied to almost any ingredient, simply as “filler” to imply
high quality. In food applications it is undefined, therefore useless, joining the
ranks of such bloviations as “real beef” (in dog food, God forbid we feed fido
that artificial beef. “Hand trimmed” steaks (really, how else?”). “Curated”
(when “chosen” or “selected” just isn’t quite pretentious enough?)
Along those
lines: While I definitely applaud efforts to buy locally and produce quality
products, “locally sourced” might still be the shittiest tomatoes available on
that occasion. Another: We see the equally undefined descriptor, “Home Style,”
on everything from frozen waffles to dog food. Really? Whose home? What style? Analogous
to that are blurbs like: “White Meat Chicken Florentine with garden greens in a
delicate sauce.” Gourmet Italian delicacy?
Nope; just cat food. I doubt it would matter even if the cat could read, which,
mine will not, being too busy sleeping to learn a second language.
Finally: I love
the Eagles’ entire musical catalog, but one line from “Lyin’ Eyes” still mystifies
me. Is there really a specified “cheatin’ side of town?” Is it marked? Is it near, or
synonymous with, the “poor” side, “bad” side, “wrong” side, “cold” side or “funky”
side?
Oh well.
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