Trump's Greatest Hits

 

                           Trump’s Greatest Hits                              

    A compendium in his own words demonstrating why Donald Trump was the worst President ever and should be exiled to Bithlo. (For the uninitiated, Bithlo is a  rural Florida hamlet east of Orlando where  the mayor is a possum and hopes and dreams go to die.) 

 Trump is a bigot:

“I have a great relationship with the blacks. I’ve always had a great relationship with the blacks,” (really? Read on!)

“Black guys counting my money! I hate it. The only kind of people I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes every day. … I think that the guy is lazy. And it’s probably not his fault, because laziness is a trait in blacks. It really is, I believe that. It’s not anything they can control.” (!!!)

“Who the f knows? I mean, really, who knows how much the Japs will pay for Manhattan property these days?” (He responded to a real estate question using a racial slur for the Japanese.)

This is court record: He argued in 2016 that Judge Gonzalo Curiel — who was overseeing the Trump University lawsuit — should recuse himself from the case because of his Mexican heritage and membership in a Latino lawyers’ association. House Speaker Paul Ryan, who had initially endorsed Trump, later called such comments “the textbook definition of a racist comment.”

Kip Brown, a former employee at Trump’s Castle: “When Donald and Ivana came to the casino, the bosses would order all the black people off the floor. It was the eighties, I was a teenager, but I remember it: They put us all in the back.” (And he "loves" black persons?)

Trump is a sexist pig:

Trump on how to handle the fairer sex. “You have to treat ’em like shit,” (Trump quoted by former friend Philip Johnson)

“Rosie’s a person that’s very lucky to have her girlfriend. And she better be careful, or I’ll send one of my friends over to pick up her girlfriend,” Trump continued. “Why would she stay with Rosie if she had another choice?” (Mind numbingly sexist and stupid)

“I’m going to be able to do things for women that no other candidate would be able to do, and it’s very important to me.” (But he didn’t, unless we count packing the USSC with justices who would overturn Roe v Wade, which was done to women, not for them.) 

“You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever.” (Poor Megyn Kelly, apparently bleeding out right on camera.)

“When a man leaves a woman, especially when it was perceived that he has left for a piece of ass—a good one, there are 50 percent of the population who will love the woman who was left.” (What a swine!)

“'I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.” (Yuck!)

“You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass.”

“You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything....grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.” (Including have an affair with one while your wife is pregnant?)

“I am the greatest” (with apologies to the late Muhammad Ali who actually was)

“'I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me – and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.” (News flash: Mexico hasn’t paid a cent for the wall)

'My IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure; it's not your fault.' (This explains why he threatened Warton with a lawsuit if they ever released his actual grades, Additionally the graduating program from Warton lists him as “graduating” with no honors whatsoever)

“I went to the Wharton School of Business…I’m, like, a really smart person. (Really smart individuals don’t have to tell you they are. For another take on this: Wharton professor William T. Kelley had another view. After Kelley’s death, a close friend of Kelley revealed that the professor felt the president was a fool. “Professor Kelley told me 100 times over three decades, and I remember his emphasis and inflection — it went like this — ‘Donald Trump was the dumbest goddam student I ever had’)

“Apologizing is a great thing, but you have to be wrong. I will absolutely apologize sometime hopefully in the distant future if I’m ever wrong.” (Start now, you have a long list!)

'I was down there, and I watched our police and our firemen, down on 7-Eleven, down at the World Trade Center, right after it came down' (How odd it is, that not one person saw him)

“Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart…I went from VERY successful businessman, to top T.V. Star, to President of the United States (on my first try). I think that would qualify as not smart, but genius…and a very stable genius at that!”

Writes and speaks like a Fourth grader:

'[The New York Times] don't write good. They have people over there, like Maggie Haberman and others, they don't - they don't write good. They don't know how to write good.  (Turns out he don't talk good either.)

“I always wanted to get the Purple Heart. This was much easier.” (This may be be the most revealing and insulting comment yet, on his sheer willingness to say anything, no matter how inane and insulting which pops into his great orange head. He dodged the draft, citing a non-existent bone spur  with an excuse from a doctor who rented from his (Trump’s) father, and then says he wishes he had a medal awarded only to those who are wounded in military service.)   

“I think I am actually humble. I think I'm much more humble than you would understand.” (Yep, he’s the “humblest” ever, no one knows more about humility then him!)

“Eventually we're going to get something done and it's going to be really, really good.” (He was talking about “his” healthcare bill here, which never in four years saw the light of day, let alone actual Congressional debate)

"I think I could have stopped it because I have very tough illegal immigration policies, and people aren't coming into this country unless they're vetted and vetted properly." (Referring to the events of 911 which were perpetrated by persons legally in the country.)

Trump on sharing his financial success

"I look very much forward to showing my financials, because they are huge." (Yet he is still suing to keep from being forced to do so, and no US Bank will lend to him!)

Trump on Covid-19

“We have it totally under control. It’s one person coming in from China. It’s going to be just fine.” (Of course, it will!)

“Within a couple of days,” Trump announced, “[infections are] going to be down to close to zero. One day, it’s like a miracle. It will disappear.” (Still waiting)

Regarding killing coronavirus with ‘light inside the body’: “Suppose that we hit the body with a tremendous, whether it's ultraviolet or just very powerful light,” Trump said at a White House coronavirus briefing, before continuing: “Supposing you brought the light inside the body, which you can do either through the skin or in some other way.” (Meanwhile Dr Fauci turns his head and vomits. What’s really the joke here is that tanning salons use Ultraviolent lamps, and the sun emits UV rays. By Trump’s lunatic logic, anyone who tans should be COVID free!)

He said, “it’s an amazing thing” that the coronavirus “affects virtually nobody,” (This statement was made literally only a few hours before the United States officially surpassed two hundred thousand deaths from the pandemic. Ignorant and an almost pathological liar – a bad set of faults in President)

"Is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside or almost a cleaning? It sounds interesting to me, so we'll see. “But the whole concept of the light, the way it kills it in one minute. That's pretty powerful." (Call Alex Jones, maybe he has an answer!)

And, because it shows him at his stumbling , mumbling, semi-literate best: Speaking of his own ‘positive negative’ test result, Trump actually stated that he “tested very positively” during his now-daily Covid-19 test. “In another sense, I tested positively toward negative, right? So no. I tested perfectly this morning, meaning I tested negative. But that's a way of saying it. Positively toward the negative.” (Another “way of saying it” would be “I’m a f***ing moron”)  

“Everybody (Everybody? Really?) says I’ve done a tremendous job with COVID. My leadership has been extraordinary, best in history. My quick actions have all but wiped out the virus, saving millions of lives, and I’ve got the economy ready to roar back to better than ever before. I think a little gratitude would be nice. Maybe a big ‘thank you Mr. President’ is called for. (No, the economy hasn’t “roared back” and the virus is nowhere near “wiped out.” Vaccines have saved millions of lives, aided by social distancing and masks. Anyone believing Trump showed real leadership during the pandemic is obviously suffering from the dumbshit variant.)  

“The closest thing is in 1917, they say, the great pandemic. It certainly was a terrible thing where they lost anywhere from 50 to 100 million people. Probably ended the Second World War. All the soldiers were sick.” (First and foremost, the Flu epidemic didn’t end WWI; massive German battlefield losses did, since it was only eight months since the outbreak. However, Trump says it “probably ended WWII” which began twenty-one years later. It should be deeply disconcerting to any sentient person when a college graduate of Trump’s age and office doesn’t know when the two World Wars were fought. This is coincident with Trump asking, according to an aide who was there, while at Normandy, who the combatants were, and referring to them as “losers” for dying in battle after seeing the cemetery.)

Various other ludicrous or dangerous statements:

“Hillary wants to abolish, essentially abolish, the second amendment [the right to have a gun].” He continued “if she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do, folks. Although the second amendment people, maybe there is, I don’t know. (The referral to “Second Amendment people” sounded a lot like an encouragement for one to “take out” Ms. Clinton)

"I'm an environmentalist. A lot of people don’t understand that. I think I know more about the environment than most people." - Despite his public stance against the existence of global warming. (Again, claiming to “know more about” something just because he’s a “stable genius.” This is similar to his “I know more about” comments on nuclear power because he has an uncle who actually does. In truth, The Trump administration rolled back more than 100 environmental rules.  Over four years, the Trump administration dismantled major climate policies and rolled back many more rules governing clean air, water, wildlife and toxic chemicals. If Trump is an environmentalist, Pee Wee Herman is an NFL linebacker.

Speaking about China's President, who repealed the country's term limit laws. "He's now president for life. President for life. No, he's great. And look, he was able to do that. I think it's great. Maybe we'll have to give that a shot someday." (Just like Putin, too, huh? Heaven forbid!)

“We cut taxes more than, you know, the biggest tax cut in history. My Administration and I built the greatest economy in history, of any country, turned it off, saved millions of lives, and now am building an even greater economy than it was before. Jobs are flowing, NASDAQ is already at a record high, the rest to follow. Sit back and watch! (Trump is serially lying here. His was not the biggest tax cut in history, and it has increased the federal deficit by $1 trillion every year since it went into law. As to the “Strongest economy: During the last two years of the Obama administration, annual median household income increased $4,800. This is three times more than the $1,400 increase during the first two years of the Trump administration. Additionally, economic growth through the last eleven Obama quarters was virtually identical to Trump’s first eleven. Unemployment was near historical lows under Trump, and yet growth in gross domestic product was well below what several previous presidents achieved, and other metrics such as wages and business investment ranged from average to simply mediocre.)

“You must go forth into the world, with passion, courage in your conviction, and most importantly be true to yourself. I did it!”

(Trump said this during a Commencement speech at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia. Sound familiar? It might, since Reese Witherspoon as Elle Woods said it first, in Legally Blonde, during her graduation speech. And no, Trump didn’t attribute the words to her)

Campaigning against Joe Biden: “He is going to do things that nobody ever, would ever think even possible because he’s following the radical left agenda. Take away your guns, destroy your Second Amendment. No religion, no anything. Hurt the Bible. Hurt God. He’s against God. He’s against guns.” (Just the litany of nonsensical and absurd claims about Joe Biden, who is an avowed Catholic, as opposed to Trump who, as an adult has been to church only when he married one of his serial brides.)

“I went in yesterday and there was a television screen, and I said, ‘This is genius.’ Putin declares a big portion of the Ukraine — of Ukraine — Putin declares it as independent. Oh, that’s wonderful,” (Remember, he still wants to build a hotel in Moscow! Trump signed a letter of intent to develop the building, provisionally named Trump World Tower Moscow, in October 2015.)

When asked what, as President, he would do to help Ukraine  during Russia's invasion Trump spouted this rambling litany of word salad:  “Well what I would do, is I would, we would, we have tremendous military capability and what we can do without planes, to be honest with you, without 44-year-old jets, what we can do is enormous, and we should be doing it and we should be helping them to survive and they're doing an amazing job." (This may be the world record for a non-answer answer.)

“I listen to [Vladimir Putin] constantly using the n word. That’s the n word, and he’s constantly using it: the nuclear word. And we never talk of, we say, ‘Oh, he’s a nuclear power.’ But we’re a greater nuclear power. We have the greatest submarines in the world, most powerful machines ever built. Most powerful, and they got built under me. Most powerful machines ever built, and nobody knows where they are. And you should say, ‘Look, if you mention that word one more time, we’re going to send them over, and we’ll be coasting back and forth up and down your coast.’” And finally, several things leap out here: We (the US military and especially Pentagon planners) never, ever discuss submarine deployment strategies publicly, and neither should an ex- president. Second, Trump’s claim that “They got built under me is diametrically false. No submarine whose construction was authorized under Trump has been commissioned. None, Period. This is a categorical lie and vintage Trump.  Additionally, Russia has only a sometimes ice-bound Arctic coast and a Pacific coast, neither within less than 2000 miles of Ukraine. Without going into more specific details (and I could!) suffice it to say that Trump’s comments on “coastal” patrols are irrelevant from a nuclear standpoint, and just demonstrate the huge scope of his ignorance.

I have assembled this small sampling of Trump’s blithering drivel just to show how, in his own words, he almost screams “I am not even fit to pick up dog turds off the White House lawn.” And he wants to run again in 2024!

Thank you and have a nice day.