Get a Life, Really!

New rule #4: If you obsess about the romances and splits of Psuedo-Sellibrities (my new word, now hyphenated for your enjoyment) to the point of serious emotional investment and deterioration of your normal relationships, you must destroy your TV, burn your copies of  People Magazine and its ilk, and become a hermit until you recover.

          A number of years ago, when Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston were an "item" and then split, I had tenth grade students almost unable to function due to angst and grief over the situation. In fact, neither Ms. Anniston or Mr. Pitt gave a hoot in hell about their feelings or really cared if their breakup impacted some runny eyed snotty nosed teen . In keeping  with the old show biz axiom that any publicity is good publicity, they did allow plenty of coverage of what should have been a private matter.  A  brief perusal of the current checkout counter array of printed tripe will prove that such crap is, in fact,  king.  We already knew the National Enquirer was a scandal rag, but it was all sort of tongue in cheek. We really didn't believe the "Arkansans  on butt end of alien probe" stories or the "Boy locked in refrigerator gnaws off and eats own foot to survive" tales, but the new class of checkout line garbage seems to focus on relationships gone astray and  attempt to suck us into the mix.    We're bombarded with tripe such as "Jake Gyllenhall's new girl" (which is really only of interest if she is your girl, or you thought Jake was your guy),  "Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez split" (like you have a chance now?), or any of fifty or so headlines featuring the woes of Kristen  Stewart and Robert (powder) Pattinson. This fascination by so many with the social lives and relational woes of others may well be a deeper reflection of their own feelings of inadequacy, and is just a step or two below celebrity stalking.

          Try this, work on your own life and your own relationships, because, trust me, your life will; never, ever  be like those of Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Lindsey, Miley,et al and that's not a bad thing. What  does this sellibrity addiction lead to?  Here's an actual twitter: "Kim Kardashian?? My idol! I just love her and support her no matter what! And i also adore her family(: They are just amazing people!" Here's another: "Together again! Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart pose together at the premiere of Breaking Dawn - Part 2" Really??  There are loads of adjectives I can think of right off the top that apply here; self obsessed, terminally spoiled, cruelly enabled, vapid, narcissistic all come to mind , but not "amazing", unless it's used in adjective form , such as "amazingly inconsequential."   Meryl Streep,  Condoleeza Rice, Yo Yo Ma, Eric Clapton,  are amazing people. The Kardashian Klan and the others  have no place in this arena.  Of course, I could be wrong, and maybe one of these sellibrities will go back to school and find  a cure for cancer or secure world peace. Upon further reflection, it's far more likely that, they'll enjoy their 15 minutes and  gradually morph into Suzanne Summers or  Debby Boone, shilling for thigh masters and facelifts.