Life lessons learned

Life lessons learned

Being  pleasant with  people takes waay less energy than being a dick.

Always check the roll of toilet tissue before you sit.

The probability of the dishwasher being full of clean dishes is directly  proportional to the number of dirty ones you just created.

Bras never, ever  go in the dryer.

Always check the bottom of the bag before you pick up dog  poo. 

The trash will never take itself out.

Golf is inherently evil.

Barking dogs, like people,  rarely bite. It's the quiet ones who bite you in the ass.

I don't inherently mistrust people who don't like dogs. On the other hand I am always suspicious of people whom dogs don't like.

Those who know the most about good teaching tend to get the least press.

Dogs have owners, cats, on the other hand, see us more as  staff.

"Pre-election season"  is far too long. The Brits do it right by limiting campaigning to six weeks.

Dogs have many different expressions with many meanings, Cats do too, but they all mean  "feed me, bitch."

Assisted suicide is illegal in most states, but you can buy cigarettes anywhere.

Canine breeders are far more selective than human ones, and generally to a better end.

The later I get up, the earlier the trash pickup occurs.

If a drug's side effects outnumber the benefits, don't use it.

You have been lied to; broken cookies still have calories.