Suggested New Year's Resolutions for Others.

         Proposed new year’s resolutions for others, since I’m just fine as I am (right!)

   1.   Stop using the words “crazy” and “insane” to describe thing which would better be described as simply “unusual,” “new,” or just “different.”

This is especially annoying when it shows up on those goddam “sidebar ads” as is “Crazy new …(whatever) ” takes 20 years off (insert your town here) woman’s face” Closely related to this is the use of the word “trick” or “hack” to describe the subject.

   2.   What the hell does “Hella” mean? I know the answer, but it’s still really annoying. Just stop it. This especially means you, Buzzfeed.  If an individual is a “Hell of a cook” just say so. Was using the word “of” so onerous that it just screamed for a Duck Dynasty sounding, semi-literate contraction? And Buzzfeed, while you’re regaining some sense of language, cut back about 97 per cent on the use of “as F**k” when applying superlatives.

   3.    Resolved: for 2018 and for eternity, for that matter, anything any person named Jenner or Kardashian does is simply irrelevant to the lives of real people. While you’re at it toss in Kanye West and Rush Limbaugh, too.

   4.    White House staffers get a one time dispensation for breaking the current Occupant’s thumbs in the interest of cleaning up the Twittersphere.

   5.    For 2018, and beyond, only facts are “facts.” They aren’t subjectively “inventable,” and no individual, no matter how highly placed in the hierarchy of mankind, is entitled to his or her own facts, just their own opinions.

    6.   As a nation, let’s all agree that, while veterans are to be commended for serving and thanked for their service, that in no conceivable way makes their opinions any more valid than anyone else’s. The fact that someone was in the military confers absolutely no cachet of foreign policy or science expertise.  Citing someone as “a vet” when recounting his tale of alien rectal probes at Area 51 makes you both seem bat shit crazy.

   7.   In the coming year, let’s be frank about the Religious Right, which is neither truly “religious” or “right”, as in correct. The mean-spirited belittling of those among us with social, emotional and physical differences by the afore mentioned Pharisees cripples our society and weakens our standing among the nations of the world. What is so troubling about this is that while these morons have strayed away from their putative leader’s (Jesus) precepts, they have become more like the radical Islamists they profess to detest.