A scam by any other name

       Being the arse that I can be sometimes causes me to engage phone solicitors who I should simply ignore. The "guys from Mumbai" with the Anglo names and the Hindi accents are exemplary. I know they are scamming me with offers of "fixing" my computer, but the longer they hang on with me the less time they can devote to some other, more gullible, schmuck.

       Likewise and somewhat more annoying are the offers to issue repair warranties on cars I haven't had for five or six years. As previously posted the Saturn offers are really over the top. This prefaces the one I really loathe on several levels.

       I periodically receive phone solicitations from someone purporting to represent either "State Troopers" "Highway Patrol" or some other law enforcement related organization. There are a number of things really, really wrong with this. To begin with, as a group of public employees, LEOs have better retirement in less time than the vast bulk of public sector employees. They also have, as a rule, excellent health care coverage and even better disability packages.

       There's a reason that so many LEOs retire and take another job with other law enforcement organizations - because they can. It is not unusual for an LEO to retire on 20 (or 25 years) at 40 to 45 years old, from one department, drawing retirement in the vicinity of 75% of their high five earning years, and then do 10 or 15 years in another department, ultimately retiring at SS age with extremely comfortable income for life. Do I resent this? ABSOLUTELY NOT. (even though as a teacher, also a public employee, I would have to work 46+ years to earn the same retirement percentage as the LEO in 25 years )

       What I do, however, resent, are the phone solicitations asking me for money for either retired or disabled officers. To begin with, these are paid solicitors who on average, keep 75 to 80 percent of funds they solicit. Read that again. Donate a dollar;the guy who called you (and/or his boss) keeps 80 cents! Second, of Charity Watch's top ten "worst charities in America," four are law enforcement related, for exactly the reasons stated above. It would be easy to blame the various departments, but for them this is free money. A paid solicitor group approaches the (State Troopers for example) and says "Give us permission to use your name in our solicitation and we'll bear all the fundraising cost and give you 20% of what we raise." as I said, free money.

       As I said, having the time and the temperment, I sometimes stop the speil and mention that I am a retired public school teacher. Usually that yields a polite "Oh, that's nice" or similar meaningless acknowledgment.

       That's when I ask the person, "When was the last time a retired teachers group asked you for charitable contributions?" Cue the crickets, "hello, hello?"