All the News That fits

All the News That Fits, We Print

       

Some may recognize the above title as the former mast head of the NY Times, slightly modified. Back in the day the original read “All the News That’s Fit To Print.”  Obviously for much print news media that is no longer the case.

        So where to start this day, 11/21/2019?

       In Florida oddities, a man was arrested after being discovered hiding in the ceiling of a Walmart in (where else) South Florida. Bad enough to be there. Worse to be discovered. But, his refusal to come down was apparently the last straw for the law enforcement officers who were called to the scene. After refusing several times to present himself on the floor, he was “tased”. He came down. Somewhere, Darwin is chuckling..

        In the “PhDs aren’t always bright in other areas”, category, Economist Walter Williams is at it again. He denounces essentially the entire scientific community for claims supporting the idea that global warming is a real problem. He does so, using just one book by an author, not a recognized scientist, by the way, who has cherry picked data to fit his narrative (and sell books to deplorables). Williams apparently believes this, in spite of all the 90 + percent of the world’s reputable (and actual) scientists who maintain otherwise.

        Sadly, this approach has become the norm for many conservatives who only hear what they wish to believe. If the good doctor grants credibility to this book, which I choose not to publicize by name, he must really pleasure himself to Erich Van Daniken’s “Chariots of the Gods.”

        In a more local item, a man was arrested yesterday in nearby Lady Lake, for possession of Marijuana and Cocaine with intent to sell. So? Not all that unusual, right? Well, maybe a little. It seems that location is everything. When arrested he was found to have cocaine in, among other locations in the vehicle, his ear! I’ve heard of snorting, but...? Without further amplification, one can only guess how this was meant to turn out. But wait, there’s more. The charges were escalated in severity because he was within 1000 yards of a church. At first, I was unable to come to a rational conclusion as to why this was a matter in aggravation, and then it hit me! This addendum to the law was urged by the churches, themselves, who are determined to eliminate competition regarding distribution of opiates to the masses.   

        In Kansas, animal control personnel responded to a call regarding three animals traveling together as companions along a rural county road. Oddly enough, the three escapees were a camel, a donkey and a cow. (honest!) I assume they were a sort of moving creche, getting an early start to Bethlehem. They won’t make it this year, though, as they were herded into a van and returned to their owner.

        Appropriately, the US Navy, in a rebuff to Donald Trump, who pardoned and actually promoted one of three war criminal SEALS, over the specific objections of the Chief of Naval Operations, did what Trump cannot undo, remove their SEAL designation. For these three trigger happy assassins this is equivalent to revoking their licenses to kill.

         Lest you think I’m turning on the service I served for 26 years, let me make this clear: SEALS do a nasty, clandestine and, for security reasons, usually under-recognized job. This job requires discipline and professionalism, which most maintain in the face of unimaginably difficult and split-second circumstances. As Jack Nicolson says in A Few Good Men, these guys are “The sentries who stand on the wall and protect us.” As in the same play, however, these three went off the reservation, posing proudly with their “kills” and in one instance slitting a young woman’s throat when she was captured.

       

        As with Submariners, of which I was a very senior one, SEALS are trained to a higher level, and expected to exercise discipline in doing their job. Don’t even for a moment think I’m equating the mission of Submariners with that of SEALS. The essential difference is that the training Submariners get and constantly hone is aimed at doing what is necessary in a crisis to save the lives of their shipmates or insure the survival of the boat. SEAL training is completely different, since it generally involves killing, even if while saving others.

        In civilian parlance it’s somewhat similar to comparing Police Officers to Fire Fighters. Both are terribly difficult and sometimes life-threatening callings, but with almost diametrically opposite aims in most cases.

        The Uniform Code of Military Justice was crafted to deal with these differences between military and civilian job requirements. Sadly, some of those same folks who blindly support a policeman who kills an unarmed individual, seem to feel that the rules are similar for the military. Not so much.

        Famous trial lawyer, and former Marine fighter pilot, F. Lee Bailey, famously said that if he were to be tried for a serious offense, he would prefer a military court martial over any civilian court. He went on to explain that military courts are generally far more fact driven and less emotion susceptible.

        When a Senior force Commander convenes a court martial the result is probably more likely to reflect a just determination of fact than a civilian court. When Trump overrides not one, but three verdicts over the express strenuous objection and recommendations of the senior naval officer in the nation and issues pardons for serious crimes, he is standing in waters he cannot fathom. Ordering the promotion of one of the offenders is yet a further insult. In this case, Trump is playing to an ignorant support base who have no idea of what is truly involved.

On a lighter note to close:

        An Arizona man was recently shopping the meat aisle at a Buckeye (yep, really) Arizona, Walmart. Arizona is a state which, in true Joe Arpaio spirit, requires zero proof of any sort for a gun owner to either open or concealed carry a handgun,  so our stalwart hero felt free to carry his piece "commando-style" (unholstered) beneath the waistband of his jeans. As he shopped, the unsecured gun drifted down into his jeans. Reaching to retrieve said piece, he inadvertently pulled the trigger while repositioning his weapon. He shot his own sausage, blowing off a significant portion of his low hanging fruit. Having shredded his ability to reproduce (see, there is a bright side) he survived, sadder, lighter, but probably little wiser. This article produced several amusing responses on a Facebook page where it was posted. Entries included:

"Was his gun named 'Lorena'?    "So, he went off half-cocked?"

"Fresh sausage half off!"  “His barrel was shortened that day."

"Friends call him 'snub-nose' now."

“He's not half the man he used to be."

And my favorite:  "Clean up on Aisle 4."

       

        Until next time.