Angst

 

                I’ve been sitting (and obsessing) on this for about 5 months and have come to the conclusion that it will haunt me until I vent in writing.

        Several years ago, late 2017 to be more precise, a friend and fellow golfer said he had a friend who was writing a book related to submarines and had mentioned that he (the friend) was interested in finding someone with “hands on” knowledge to give it a “tech review.” I was more than willing to get involved and told him to give the author my contact data, which he did, and the author got in touch that very evening. We agreed that he could send me the manuscript, which was about half written in what the author felt was the “finished” draft, and I would check it for technical accuracy.

         Accordingly, I opened the Word doc and began, with a yellow legal pad for such notes as I felt were necessary. The book, entitled Shallow Water Predator, was (is) a techno thriller set against the background of a US attack submarine operating on a highly classified mission in the Persian Gulf. Two pages in, I had one page full of notes, none of them technical, and I realized that the author, (I’ll call him “W” for brevity from here on) whose only previous published work was a self-published children’s book, was out of his depth in more than just technical areas.

     While the macroscopic plot to the point he had written it, had great promise, almost Tom Clancy worthy, the minutia which would actually make it readable (or not) were worse than banal. His dialogue writing was mediocre and prosaic, and descriptive passages were as bad or worse. Later I would find that his lack of continuity was also an editor’s nightmare, as “W” would have key figures in Washington and Guam at the same time (yeah, really!)

        Within ten minutes of beginning, I realized that a rewrite within the document would be far easier than making notes, and realizing “W” might take some convincing, I began editing (rewriting, in essence) the first of 53 chapters of volume 1. After finishing the first chapter, I realized we needed a sit-down and face to face about how this would progress before I would give it any more time, or allow my name on it in any context, for that matter.

        We finally met, and I, as diplomatically as possible, went over the issues with the writing and, as I had read the rest of the 53 chapters, some technical issues and some suggestions for plot alterations, all of which, to my surprise, “W” welcomed. After our second meeting, “W” said I would be listed as co-author, which, considering the work done and remaining to be done I found entirely appropriate.

         We had evolved to the point where he would call me and say words to the effect of, “How about if we introduce an Israeli Submarine into the plot?” And I would write an entire chapter, along the way researching the Israeli fleet, propulsion systems, Israeli naval force structure, deployments, appropriate curse words in Hebrew, typical career paths, etc., inventing characters, and plot lines, and writing readable dialogue for tactical situations I invented. A day or so later I’d sent him the draft and with essentially no changes he’d add it to the document. This entire “new chapter” scenario happened eight or nine times and I discovered several things. First, I’m good at it, and secondarily, that I was (am) a far more thorough researcher than “W”.  I sent a “smooth” draft of the first half of the book to a former colleague and shipmate, a Senior Chief Sonar Tech for a quick consult on several sonar issues, His response was that he couldn’t wait for the book and it was a great read.

         Encouraged by that response I spent the next several weeks finishing (rewriting and inventing a ton of new material). Along the way, since much of the plot involves, not only the Iranian Navy force structure but also Iranian customs, political structures, I did, as I had with Israel, thorough research into the same areas, even including Farsi language phrases appropriate to situations. I invented several chapters (at “W” s suggestion) involving a SEAL team attacked by Iranian surface forces while medevac-ing  a sailor from a USA surface ship. I even researched where in the Gulf a facility with an MRI could be found.

        Finally "we" ended up with a document which read like Clancy and was probably the most accurate book on nuclear Submarining in print from a submariner’s experiential point.  I say that last, simply because, as an author, I also have the advantage of experience in every aspect of submarine operations, having been “in charge” at both ends of the boat. 

      I sent it off to “W,” who sent it to a female English teacher friend, who had zero issues with grammar, syntax, etc., but said it was “really technical.”  Rather than respond with the “No shit” which was my immediate reaction, I pointed out that middle school English teachers were not the typical audience for techno-thrillers. Hearing nothing for several months, as “W” had some health issues, he finally got back to me in late 2019, to tell me that his editor (a local hack writer who moderates a group here in The Villages) had suggested that it was “too difficult” (whatever that meant) to copyright the book in both our names as co-authors. I found later that he had removed his original front matter related to my contributions which I will past below:

 

          This (About the authors) is the way the final draft read.

 

                       About the Authors

 

XXXXXXXXX holds a Master of Business from Salve Regina University in Newport R.I. and has spent his career working in Naval programs. As a Program Manager, he supported the Surface Ship ASW Effectiveness Measuring Program (SHARM) developing tactical guidelines and publications to assist the surface community in localizing, tracking, and detecting, threat submarines. He developed and participated in at-sea training programs for SURFLANT, and worked at the Naval War College, Naval Lessons Learned library. During the latter part of his career, he supported the DDG 1000 Integration Verification and Validation (IV&V) program as a Software Test Engineer responsible for developing test procedures and verifying software dealing with Surface Ship Combat Operations.  Bill and his wife Margaret are enjoying their retirement in sunny Florida.

 

Mike Dorman, MMCM(SS) USN (ret) who served 26 years in the Submarine Navy on three different submarines, served as a Leading Engineering Laboratory Technician, Engineering Administrative assistant, First Lieutenant, Battle Stations Diving Officer and Chief of the Boat. He completed 17 strategic deterrent patrols and two reactor refueling overhauls on ballistic missile submarines. Shore duty assignments at Naval Nuclear Power School included instructor, and Class Director. Following a final shore tour as Nuclear Field "A" school Command Master Chief Petty Officer and having completed two baccalaureate degrees and a master's degree along the way, Master Chief Dorman retired and taught for 20 years at W. R. Boone High School in Orlando, Florida, teaching Advanced Placement US History. Mike and Emily, his wife of more than 50 years, now live in The Villages, Florida, where he blogs, writes, and generally struggles with his golf game. 

 

 The book cover as published doesn’t reflect the co-authorship, merely crediting Mr.XXXXXX. I am now simply listed inside with several others, who I have never met, as a “technical contributor.”

        While I agreed to help to make a better product, I feel cheated to a degree I have never before experienced. What “W” did, representing my work as his alone, is perhaps the most immoral thing anyone has ever done to me as an individual.  If I wished to, I could probably do something about it since I do have the dated files of the final drafts which include the joint attribution, but it’s not worth the effort. Now, if a movie with the same title should appear, I might reconsider (lol). At least It’s off my chest.