Too much time on my hands

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                             Top 10 new reality show concepts for Fall TV season

10. "Hillbilly Ice Road Nannies  at the Jersey Shore" - pathetically self explanatory

9.   "In search of a straight Line" - a panel  of journalism professors watch 24 hours of Fox News and try to  find the one actual unslanted,  factual story of the day.

8.  "Fracking for Dollars" a reality show in which cute blonde girls audition to be the next totally unbelievable oil company shill to try to convince TV viewers that fracking is safe.

7.  "The Unbelievablest" - A  4th grade dropout who is unable to tie his own shoes becomes a brilliant corporate lawyer ( Or FBI consultant, or Crimesolver, or Doctor)

6. " Payback is a Bitch" - George Zimmerman is dressed in a Klan outfit and dumped in the Overtown section of Miami. No prize, no contest, just satisfaction

5.  ."NCIS Los Angeles" - already exists. Linda Hunt?? Puleeze

4.  "Diving for Donuts" - contestants must bob for  Krispy Kremes from the cooker,  the contestant with the most recognizable face left wins.

3.  "Law and Order - South of the Border" -  contestants are dropped into the center of Mexico City.  last one neither kidnapped or killed in a drug shootout wins.

2.  "Undercover Bus Monitor" - A sixtyish female martial arts expert is assigned as a bus monitor.  When she is harassed, she slaps the shit out of the little bastards. Most lawsuits wins immunity.

1.  ."CSI Bithlo " - A team of skilled forensic criminologists attempt to determine who tipped over the shithouse.

                          Top ten ways to increase golf's appeal to the masses

10. Must be up and down in 4 minutes max or incur 5 stroke penalty

9.  Dump wealth management sponsors, switch to beer companies

8. Cheerleaders

7. Scorpions in sand traps

6. Rattlesnakes in the rough

5. Ball explodes at some random number of strokes between 15 and 35

4. Topless caddies

3. Topless female caddies

2. Two words - "Full Contact"

1. Trash talking while putting

      

                                        Top ten ways to tell your pet is possessed

10. Your dog whispers in your ear while you sleep, "kill the cat, kill the cat."

9.  You catch your cat surfing mouse porn on your laptop.

8.  Your hamster leaves notes requesting hearts of Romaine.

7.  Your dog chases his own tail, catches  it, and gnaws it off.

6.  You find your three cats doing "rock, paper scissors" for who gets to use the clean  litter first.

5. Your Golden retriever shoplifts Bush's baked beans and tries to mail them to Duke

4.  Your goldfish swims to the glass and mouths  "change the water, monkey boy "

3.  Your beagle has horns.

2.  Your Cockatiel curses  in ancient Sumerian

1.   Your pet lizard pleasures himself to Geico commercials.