“Talkabouts”
There are many phrases in colloquial English which
may not be as comprehensible as we might desire to non-Americans. In an effort
to bridge the gap, I offer the following. Others will, I am sure come to mind.
To add interest, I will post the updated, syntactically correct version and at
the end of the list I’ll post the current slang phrases.
1. “I
am unable to determine the gist of your conversation, Willis”
2. “Mentally
challenged to the extent of a portmanteau laden with peened or clawed implements”
3. “He
has accumulated personal organic excreta in a central repository”
4. “More
slothful than a group of carapaced reptiles”
5. “It
precipitates as if a bovine micturating upon a tabular plinth”
6. “That
lad would be unable to locate his nether region with both forelimbs and an
electric torch”
7. “In
a state of dishabille resembling a
potage and bread concoction”
8. “Demonstrating
a buccal rictus similar to a hybrid
equine ruminating Cirsium vulgare.”
9. “
He appears to be incapable of perambulatory locomotion and
masticatication of chicle simultaneously.”
10. “Her physical from resembles a rural adobe latrine”
11. As irate as a drenched Gallus domesticus”
12. “As praiseworthy as an indefinite article is
capable of becoming”
13. “As physically repugnant as a barrier formed of
dampened earth”
14. “So pusillanimous as to be devoid of organic
waste”
Real analogies:
1. What
you talkin’ about, Willis?” 2. “As dumb
as a bag of hammers” 3. “He has his shit
together” 4. “Slower than a herd of turtles” 5. “Raining like a cow pissing on a flat
rock” 6. “He couldn’t find his ass with
both hands and a flashlight” 7. “As
f****d up as a soup sandwich” 8. “Grinning like a jackass chewing thistle” 9. “He can’t walk and chew gum” 10. “She’s built like a brick shithouse” 11. “Mad as a wet hen” 12. “As good as it gets” 13. “As ugly as a mud fence” 14. “Scared shitless”
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